Kids Say the Funniest Things!

Texas author Julian Franklin performing as a train engineer.

One of the educational school assemblies I do is a show about all the winter festivals the people celebrate around the world: Diwali, Thanksgiving, Ramadan (not always in the winter but I include it), Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, New Year and, of course, Christmas.

At one point in the show I talk about Chris VanAllsburg's book, The Polar Express. I say, "The boy knows he can have any gift he wants. But all he wants...is a bell."

A girl on the second row yelps out "I know Isabel!"

I've been doing this show for 14 seasons now and I have to admit, this one caught me off guard. It took me until that moment in the NEXT show before I even realized what she was talking about. I totally heard it as it came out of my mouth, and now I can't NOT hear it. But I've been doing this show for so long, it is hard for me to change the script in my head.

Puppets and dogs

This is what it is like living with a professional puppeteer...

Kids are Funny

Saw this book in another school and had to add it to this post!

A boy and a girl were in the library while I was setting up this AM.

Me: Do you speak any languages other than English?

Girl: English, Japanese, and a little bit of Spanish.

Boy: English...and I make cat noises.

Me: So...like 'Cat Language'?

Boy (with total sincerity): Yes.

Can I Borrow a Pencil?

Okay, this is not my joke, but it's so funny I had to share it. It starts with a funny meme that was circulating and then someone added a few extra bits.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

Teacher: I don't know. Can you?

Student: Yes. I might add that colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language. Since you and the rest of our present company understood perfectly my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between “can” and “may” is purely pedantic and arguably pretenttious.

Teacher: True, colloquialism and the judicious interpretation of context help us communicate with nuance, range, and efficiency. And yet, as your teacher, my job is to teach you to think about language with care and rigor. Understanding the shades of difference between one word and another, and to think carefully about what you want to say will give you greater power and versatility in your speech and writing.

Student: Point taken. May I have a pencil?

Teacher: No, you may not. We do not have pencils since the state cut funding for education again this year.

Excitement in the Library

Every now and then a photographer is able to really capture me in all my beautiful glory. This picture, taken at Lumberton Public Library is one of those times.

Kids are Funny

Today a kid looked admiringly at my bald head and asked me "What color is your hair?"

"Not sure. Based on my beard, I'd say grayish-brown"
.
"I want a grayish-brown hair cut!"

Parents are Funny

Parent volunteer at the school where I worked today: "You're like Mr. Rogers trapped in the body of Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

Kids are Funny

Overheard at an elementary school today:

"Why is the Statue of Liberty holding an iPad?"